i'm spinning at times,
like
spinning in my childhood tire swing.
I spent 3 months getting wound up.. that part always
takes. so. long.
so the day came, quite sooner than expected and
i put my little body through the hole of the tire, hanging from my midsection like a dead body; my toes are [bare]ly gripping the cool grass and the damp soil, the tire's already exerting force on me and i feel like the quality of the spin is deteriorating with every little slip, finally i decide i'm ready and i let 'er go.
I still dont know WHY g-forces are so much fun, maybe it's God's way of getting us off the couch. who knows but i'm spinning and all of my thoughts and senses are wrapped up in HER.
[...what??]
yeah, and you know what the sick part is about spinning? the sick part. the part where you're not spinning, you're on your feet and your whole system just ACHES. your stomach is impossibly angry at you for what you've done. I wonder if all people get that? are there some that just aren't as affected?
I'm trying to make sense out of things, often i feel stalled, disconnected, left behind, sluggish, socially un-enabled. yes, i am in love. that thought consumes everything; today my whole body was just screaming <==THIS WAY, JUSTIN! this is right!
like
spinning in my childhood tire swing.
I spent 3 months getting wound up.. that part always
takes. so. long.
so the day came, quite sooner than expected and
i put my little body through the hole of the tire, hanging from my midsection like a dead body; my toes are [bare]ly gripping the cool grass and the damp soil, the tire's already exerting force on me and i feel like the quality of the spin is deteriorating with every little slip, finally i decide i'm ready and i let 'er go.
I still dont know WHY g-forces are so much fun, maybe it's God's way of getting us off the couch. who knows but i'm spinning and all of my thoughts and senses are wrapped up in HER.
[...what??]
yeah, and you know what the sick part is about spinning? the sick part. the part where you're not spinning, you're on your feet and your whole system just ACHES. your stomach is impossibly angry at you for what you've done. I wonder if all people get that? are there some that just aren't as affected?
I'm trying to make sense out of things, often i feel stalled, disconnected, left behind, sluggish, socially un-enabled. yes, i am in love. that thought consumes everything; today my whole body was just screaming <==THIS WAY, JUSTIN! this is right!
it's right.
this is a familiar format, a familiar outlet, a familiar feeling.It's not the same. this isn't susan, the first or the second. this isn't make-believe. i hope this isn't make-believe. This isn't one of my selfish games, Fox. I feel wholer than i've ever been.
ive been seeking comfort in the future, and no one seems to want to tell me what i want to hear. maybe what i need is not comfort but faith in the future.
somehow that becomes easier with every spin.
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